This list is longer than a grown man’s ski in reality. Consider this an installment, in no particular order:
1. Every income statement since your inception into the professional realm…twenty-some odd years ago.
2. Books you’ve never cracked the spine of and have no interest in doing so.
3. Things belonging to or used by/with your ex.
4. Specifically, linens.
5. Grocery store salad bar/ restaurant take out containers. These do not qualify as “tupperware.”
7. Dried up glue sticks. And highlighters. And paints.
8. Free perfume samples from that trip to the mall in ’07.
9. Tools and supplies relating to activities you haven’t done in ten years and have no intentions of taking back up.
- Scuba gear
- Camping gear, including: sleeping pads and bags, tents, lanterns, those make-shift camping kitchen things
- Scrapbooking supplies
- Other elaborate crafting and documentation projects
10. Things inherited from deceased loved ones that you have no personal connection to/memory of/purpose for (note: acknowledgment of loaded issue; more on this later).
11. Gifted items you loathe.
12. Threadbare towels with fraying edges that smell of mildew.
13. Mystery cords that haven’t been plugged into anything in your home for the last five years. Seems pretty clear your electronics have gone on despite them.
14. Mysterious spare parts (see rational for above).
15. Mysterious keys (see rational for above, above).
16. Art that’s been tightly rolled up and tucked away in the back of a closet for the last decade that you can’t reasonably identify a place for on your walls.
17. Every cardboard box that’s ever come into your possession.
18. Ditto every retail bag.
19. Read those last two again.
20. Earrings missing their mate. It’s time to call off the hunt. It’s been two years, after all.
21. Ditto socks (see rationale for above).
22. Last two. Again. Do it.
23. Every 3-ring binder that’s ever crossed your path. None of the small humans know you’re slowly erecting an Office Depot, anyhow, so having them back-to-school-shop your stash seems unlikely.
24. That dress/shirt/pair of pants/belt you would never, under any circumstances consider purchasing today, let alone don in public.
25. Old reading glasses with outdated prescriptions that no longer do anything to help you see.
27. See also: floppy disks. Whatever’s on ’em, it’s almost certainly been at least seven years since you even considered their existence. I know: the intrigue! The possibilities! But really? You’ve been just fine all this time without knowing or having, so keep doing that–officially.
28. Beanie babies.
Have, hey at ’em, wouldjya? One is as good a place to start as any. Which is it going to be?Image credit: Mandojana