Monday’s Meditation: On Whether Everything Really Is Relative

June 13, 2016

Note to self: perspective really is EVERYTHING.

I used to be of the opinion that as far as personal issues and challenges are concerned, everything is relative, meaning that an individual’s definition of pain or suffering depends upon the circumstances they’ve experienced, and, perhaps, overcome.

If you’ve (miraculously) managed to get through life thus far without so much as a stray hiccup, something as mild as the groomer cutting your dog’s hair too short might be cause for grievous distress. Since you haven’t experienced anything more trying, the incident naturally feels deeply upsetting.

This idea of relativity suggests that all pain should be legitimized, because to each person, depending upon their unique life situation, it is real. Even if your life has been one filled with such turmoil that a doggie-buzzcut wouldn’t inspire even half a pause, the fact that it unwinds someone else must be respected.

Maybe, past-Annie.

The truth is that shit circumstances in life do earn you the prize of perspective. That much is undeniable. People who have experienced moments of extreme crisis, emotional turmoil, and trauma see things from a different vantage point. It is a knowing they can’t un-know, a perspective they can’t un-see; from that point onward, their familiarity with crisis, chaos, and fear informs how proceeding circumstances register. In short: they are much less likely to cry over spilled beverages or to perspire in the presence of benign events.

And it is equally true that for people who have been fortunate enough not to live through really terrible moments in life, it is more difficult to conceptualize what those look and feel like.

More difficult, yes.

But not impossible.

The more I think about it, and the more people I come into contact with, the more I can’t help but to feel that those who have a propensity for becoming unhinged over minor issues are, in fact, unfounded in doing so doing. Or, at least, they are doing themselves a disservice. Their seamless life becomes a crutch that enables an unwarranted sense of being victimized by menial situations.

Meanwhile, someone somewhere calls out Umm, hello? The children of Africa…?

On some level, it befits all of us to have an awareness of true struggle. Those people who are provided this perspective through personal experience can’t help but to possess this awareness. Those who aren’t may take it as their responsibility to inform themselves; to make themselves aware. They do this not by putting themselves in harm’s way, but through the open and empathetic exploration into lives outside of their own.

We share one world. The eyes we choose to see it through are just that, a choice. Make no mistake about it.

It is each one of our responsibility to be informed. To broaden our mindset and our worldview so that we understand our place in the family of things. So that we understand just how fortunate we really are.

It is our responsibility how we contextualize what has happened to us, and what may come to pass.

No one gets a free pass to whine.

 

Heads up to all my Simplifiers reading–for the next two weeks you’re going to only be getting Monday’s Meditation from me. FEAR NOT. I WILL RETURN IN FULL FORCE. In the meantime, I hear there’s lots of stuff around here to read…

11 Comments

  1. Leanne on June 13, 2016 at 6:49 am

    I think you are exactly right about our individual responsibility to inform ourselves of the state of the world around us. And you don’t need to go to Africa to find hungry children. I’ve often wondered if it is a failure of imagination or a lack of curiosity that allows some people to create a bubble around themselves in which their “reality” is as grueling as, say, a Syrian refugee. Keep up the good work.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:22 pm

      Such an interesting wondering (why some don’t attempt to inform themselves)–but one that’s unfortunate, in any case. I think, too, it might be down to fear and guilt. Many may not know how to reconcile their good fortune in the face of others’ suffering?

  2. bev on June 13, 2016 at 7:12 am

    “We share one world. The eyes we choose to see it through are just that, a choice.”

    oh so true! It’s a choice. It’s also a choice in how we choose to react to what we see or what we know.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      Yes, absolutely! And it’s essential that we take responsibility for that!

  3. Nanette on June 13, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    This is a great one Annie! I always enjoy Monday’s Meditations. This one is especially good. Pain is all around us in many forms. Empathy is found just by opening our eyes and hearts to those around us and walking a few miles in their shoes.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:24 pm

      Thank you so much, Nanette! So glad to hear it resonated with you. And I think you are spot on–empathy is just a turning on and tuning in to others’ humanity.

  4. Jennie on June 14, 2016 at 4:00 am

    Your thoughtful post is right on the mark and serves as a reminder that keeping life’s events in perspective helps us to be grateful and joyous.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:25 pm

      Thank you Jennie!! And yes, perspective is such an instructive guide, isn’t it?

  5. Laura on June 14, 2016 at 7:05 am

    Too, I think choosing to become unhinged is a sign of poor emotional intelligence. While people cannot control the way they feel, they can control how they choose to react. I think the perspective that you speak of is that filter that downgrades someone’s current “crisis” into “a thing I need to fix/vent about/get over.”

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:51 pm

      So true. I feel like it all boils down to treading the balance between “this moment is real and everything,” and… “this moment is just a moment and somewhat of an illusion.” Tricky tricky. But once you strike that balance, you’re officially an enlightened being.

  6. Carmen on June 21, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    Amen!! This is truth, and presented in the most convicting and compassionate manner. I used to give those in life a hall pass when they complained about menial inconviences because they hadn’t experienced the same loss and difficulty in life that I had. However, when I was knee deep in a serious life crisis with my son, I realized that I no longer had the capacity to grant such exceptions. I was literally tapped out caring for him, and I couldn’t listen to complaints about “benign events”. At the time, I thought the issue was with me and my lack of compassion. However, after reading this, I’ve had an epiphany. It is a choice how we all react to situations in life, whether we are living through the trauma, or witnessing empathetically someone we know living through it and responding with compassion. No one gets a free pass to whine!! So true, and stated with your witty brilliance Annie!

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11 Comments

  1. Leanne on June 13, 2016 at 6:49 am

    I think you are exactly right about our individual responsibility to inform ourselves of the state of the world around us. And you don’t need to go to Africa to find hungry children. I’ve often wondered if it is a failure of imagination or a lack of curiosity that allows some people to create a bubble around themselves in which their “reality” is as grueling as, say, a Syrian refugee. Keep up the good work.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:22 pm

      Such an interesting wondering (why some don’t attempt to inform themselves)–but one that’s unfortunate, in any case. I think, too, it might be down to fear and guilt. Many may not know how to reconcile their good fortune in the face of others’ suffering?

  2. bev on June 13, 2016 at 7:12 am

    “We share one world. The eyes we choose to see it through are just that, a choice.”

    oh so true! It’s a choice. It’s also a choice in how we choose to react to what we see or what we know.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      Yes, absolutely! And it’s essential that we take responsibility for that!

  3. Nanette on June 13, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    This is a great one Annie! I always enjoy Monday’s Meditations. This one is especially good. Pain is all around us in many forms. Empathy is found just by opening our eyes and hearts to those around us and walking a few miles in their shoes.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:24 pm

      Thank you so much, Nanette! So glad to hear it resonated with you. And I think you are spot on–empathy is just a turning on and tuning in to others’ humanity.

  4. Jennie on June 14, 2016 at 4:00 am

    Your thoughtful post is right on the mark and serves as a reminder that keeping life’s events in perspective helps us to be grateful and joyous.

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:25 pm

      Thank you Jennie!! And yes, perspective is such an instructive guide, isn’t it?

  5. Laura on June 14, 2016 at 7:05 am

    Too, I think choosing to become unhinged is a sign of poor emotional intelligence. While people cannot control the way they feel, they can control how they choose to react. I think the perspective that you speak of is that filter that downgrades someone’s current “crisis” into “a thing I need to fix/vent about/get over.”

    • Annie on June 28, 2016 at 5:51 pm

      So true. I feel like it all boils down to treading the balance between “this moment is real and everything,” and… “this moment is just a moment and somewhat of an illusion.” Tricky tricky. But once you strike that balance, you’re officially an enlightened being.

  6. Carmen on June 21, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    Amen!! This is truth, and presented in the most convicting and compassionate manner. I used to give those in life a hall pass when they complained about menial inconviences because they hadn’t experienced the same loss and difficulty in life that I had. However, when I was knee deep in a serious life crisis with my son, I realized that I no longer had the capacity to grant such exceptions. I was literally tapped out caring for him, and I couldn’t listen to complaints about “benign events”. At the time, I thought the issue was with me and my lack of compassion. However, after reading this, I’ve had an epiphany. It is a choice how we all react to situations in life, whether we are living through the trauma, or witnessing empathetically someone we know living through it and responding with compassion. No one gets a free pass to whine!! So true, and stated with your witty brilliance Annie!

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