One of my favorite exchanges I’ve had in recent months was with my client’s teenage daughter. She’s a talented cheer athlete, and competes nationally along with her twin sister.

After we had finished editing their bedroom, I asked her, “What do you love most about cheer?”

I’m embarrassed to admit that I expected her to say something to the effect of, “I love getting to spend time with my teammates.” Or, “I love my coaches.”

Her answer: “Winning.”

Then she smiled, probably stretched her leg straight up to her cheek, and went on being her sweet, gracious self.

Winning.

In her answer was all the unapologetic ambition I’d always sensed I was obligated to disavow when I was young.

Ambition used to feel as though it was reserved for boys and men. They could hope to achieve. They could even be cutthroat in the pursuit of taking home the trophy. Not girls, though. Girls were subtly taught to play down their desire to win. To be happy just to have participated and braided each other’s hair during the break.

In reality, there is nothing gendered about the desire to achieve success through hard work, dedication, and skill. That old feminine trope of meekness and deference being preferable to standing out is just that–old. Stale. Vastly limiting.

If ambition is the push that drives us to try again, to dare to have our unique gifts be heard and seen, to provide circumstances for ourselves in which the point is to prove to ourselves we have what it takes to succeed, then ambition is for everyone.

If a teenage girl today can claim to love winning without a hint of self-consciousness, that is us all winning.

Let’s follow her lead. Be ambitious. Want the features and the partnerships and the trophies. Throw our big-cheer-bows in the ring and compete. Let’s extend that permission to all the women in our lives, and rally behind each in her unique match. Let’s celebrate each one’s win as belonging to our shared team–the collective victory of being exemplary.