I’ve heard it said that the goal of life is to figure out one’s purpose, and that the purpose of life is to give it away–something like that, anyway.

I believe (and have found true) that once we’re razor clear about our purpose, the people who need the particular gift each of us has naturally and easily appear.

And yet; and yet.

The great reconciliation we must all eventually make is that we can only help others to the extent to which they want to be helped.

We can only do for others what they invite us into their world of being to do.

There is perhaps no adage more true than the old, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.”

In fact, whoever said that was damn persuasive if being able to lead the horse was a given.

To be fair to ourselves (and to not overreach our realm of control) we must keep in mind where our responsibility to support others starts and ends.

Our responsibility starts at the outset of knowing anyone, since we should all be inclined to give to others. Our power to enact change finds its end wherever another erects a boundary.

It’s the whole, “do what you can with what you’ve got, where you are” thing all over again.

This doesn’t mean that we lack the grounds needed to give each other feedback about how others’ behavior is affecting us; close family and friends have a kind of duty to keep each other in check.

In metaphorical horse-world that might sound like, “Hey there, you look mighty thirsty. Like you need a good drink…I know where the river is, and if you’re ever interested, I’d be more than happy to show you how to get there.”

But after that–after we’ve said our piece and expressed whatever we felt was true and owed to the wellbeing of others and ourselves–we have to check our own selves.

It doesn’t matter how much we care, or how convinced we are (and maybe rightly so!) that we know what a person needs or would benefit from. It doesn’t even matter if we have ready access to it that we can easily share with others.

People come to things when they’re ready.

And with somethings, even the things we wish others were ready for most, this means never at all. Not this go around, anyway.

We can’t know where a person is on their journey–on their spiritual trajectory.

As much as we think we might know best, we must accept that maybe the time isn’t right for that spirit to take on that challenge, learn that lesson, untangle that web.

Our desires and timelines don’t always match up with others’ and we must work to make peace with this, entrust that each person is actually steering in the direction they most need to go.

Even if it’s down a dark well. Even if it’s a rocky, arduous route. And even if we believe we see a smooth, poreless way just a few skoshes to the right of it they might take instead.

In the end, the only person we can work to improve is ourselves. And in so doing, hope to be shining examples for those around us.

Even though it might not feel like it at times, your living your purpose, cultivating goodness and wonder, and working to embody integrity and love with an undeterred focus will naturally be noticed by those around you. And how it inspires them you might never know.