Monday’s Meditation: On The Myth Of Going It Alone
Everyone in my life seems to be talking to me about self-sufficiency or lack thereof lately. One friend feels guilt or shame at not being able to hold herself accountable without the support of a paid coach; another feels overwhelmed at the prospect of being self-sufficient because she’s not currently in a relationship; my dad is desperately trying to gain more support for my mom because doing it on his own is a drowning game. We’re exchanging anecdotes and thoughts about virtual assistants and handing over control at a ladies’ lunch. Everyone is on my case to hire more hands at LSHQ.
It struck me as the aesthetician who was giving me my first ever facial was massaging a figure-8 around my eyes that just because you can do something yourself doesn’t mean you should. It doesn’t mean you will. It doesn’t mean your version of “doing it” is the same as it being done with excellence. Not if that thing isn’t your area of expertise, and not one of us is an expert at everything.
I mean, I’m perfectly capable of washing my own face, but that’s not really the point, is it?
As much as we crave control of our lives and our businesses, handing over a task to someone more specialized at it than ourselves causes inexplicable relief, satisfaction, and calm.
If you’re finding it difficult to motivate yourself to do something on your own that’s vital to your wellbeing, hiring an expert to guide you and hold you accountable is nothing short of the definition of sanity.
There is no prize for going it alone. We are not meant to be entirely self-sufficient entities–no man is an island, remember? We are designed to lean, created to yearn for connections that make us better and smarter than we would be on our own.
But first, we have to make the space for another. We can’t call in outside resources if we’re too caught up in the notion that doing so makes us failures. We can’t invite another to attend to a task for which they’re the most spiritually, mentally and professionally qualified if we’re too adamant about our need to maintain control. We can’t form relationships if we don’t open ourselves fully to the world.
It’s this kind of paradox: You first have to know that your inability to do all things makes you just normal. But you also have to trust in yourself and your capabilities in order to attract the help of others.
You must know that you are enough on your own because you are an integral contributor to this world. And you must realize that life moves most smoothly when you allow others to be the same, graciously accepting their help with the recognition that in doing so, you’re simultaneously allowing them to fulfill their purpose.
When you enlist the support of others to pick up where you leave off, you’re enabled to do the one job you’re meant to do: be you. Give of your particular brilliance, letting others do the same.
Other Posts You May Love
Search The Blog
Simplify Your World
Sign up for the email list to get inspiration and simplified tips sent right to your inbox.