It seems counterintuitive to say that all change and growth is a conduit of acceptance; that the desire for all forward progress begins with being rooted in the place you are now.

Yet, that’s exactly how it works in life.

Acceptance is awareness, validated. It is living with eyes open and acknowledging as real whatever you see. This state of being is the only passkey to progress, since it allows you to enter a judgement-free zone that inherently has the power to open up channels of possibility.

If you are too uncomfortable or too scared to acknowledge things as they really are, you doom yourself to remain in denial or delusion–neither of which are states in which you can make powerful, positive shifts.

Any eventual power to enact change and create possibility is born out of your being brave-enough to face the facts.

You may have to admit the big-scary that’s sitting in front of you. You may have to realize a whole boat-load of mistakes. You may have to acknowledge in no uncertain terms things like:

My mom is sick.

I hate my job.

I’m lonely.

My house has gotten out of control.

That, at least, is clarity. That is a jumping off point, an invitation, a begging of the question:

So what?

Or,

and what am I going to do about it?

In your answer lies your freedom.

My mom is sick, yes, and so I’m going to treat every conversation I have with her as precious, and I’m going to gratefully accept her love in whatever form she’s now able to give it.

I hate my job…and that tells me that it probably isn’t right for me. I believe I’m worthy of a career that fulfills me and allows me to give of my gifts and so I’m going to work to figure out what that might look and feel like.

I’m lonely…because I’m a normal human, and I crave connection, and I’ve been finding it difficult to meet like minded people. But I really want some friends, so I’m going to be extra aware of any potential connections/join a social group/say yes to invitations that come my way.

My house has gotten out of control…and I acknowledge that I feel unable to tackle it on my own or even imagine it could be better. So I’m going to call in the necessary resources, because I believe my space has the potential to be my sanctuary.

See how that works?

Whatever is happening in your life–good, bad, hum-drum, whether you feel poor or lonely or fat or unattractive or insignificant–if you want to change it, first, you must accept it; must accept yourself for who you are, accept your body for how it looks, accept your family for how it interacts, accept your finances for what they are, and your car for the model it is, and your desires for what they are, and on and on. Leave behind judgment and the land of good and bad, and begin to enter a place of supreme grace, where you extend yourself and everyone the benefit of the doubt, and always, always, believe there is an upside, a higher road, and a reason to keep striving.