After I moved out of my parents’ house, there was a time when returning for visits was terribly depressing. Everything that’s hard about being there (chronic illness and the chaos that goes along with it) would smack me in the face upon entry, and I would wilt away like lettuce.

Eventually, I realized my reaction wasn’t doing anyone any good, and I vowed from that moment on that I would bring the sunshine. Everything that had been depleted by sustained struggle, I would replenish. I would see the skies, always shifting and threatening, and I would resist their darkening effects. I would give what was needed.

The world is full of sourpusses and extremely difficult situations. One of the hardest tasks in life is to remember that those people and scenarios which seem to deserve or emit light the least require it most.

But the only way to provide light is to make it your mission to hold the light within you. To love yourself and always work on loving yourself more. Be intentional about the words and images you consume, and the substances you eat. Meditate if that’s your jam. Exercise if you have a body. Get your derriere into therapy. Say no to internal turmoil. Fan the flames of your weird and divine spirit with precisely what it desires and nothing that it doesn’t until the light cannot be extinguished by an encounter with a hostile guy in the grocery line, or a friend’s manipulation tactics, or your mom’s having repeated, unexplainable seizures, naked in the shower.

Give yourself what you need so you can give what’s needed to the world around you. Unburden your heart and home of every last thing that feels unnecessary to carry any longer.

In the darkest room, under the most violent skies, do not be perturbed. Feel light. Give light. Be light.