Monday’s Meditation: On What To Say When Everything Sucks
When you find yourself having made a giant mistake–
When you find yourself at the receiving end of someone else’s careless oversight–
When you feel like you’re so deep in the thick of it, and the thick of it is a pile of shit–
Then, you may find the temptation to give in to self-pity, self-punishment, blame or victimization is extreme.
But before you start the indulgent process of licking your wounds–
Before you take on the combative response of throwing arrows–
You can hold yourself in a place of positivity and resolution by repeating internally only this:
I am learning (a lot).
To think such a thing does not suggest you see now why things have unfolded as they have. It doesn’t mean that you’re at peace with the situation, or that you’re a big enough person to see the overarching lesson in it right this minute.
It merely means that you’re willing to reserve judgement. You’re willing to suspend assigning blame. That you’re willing to see–maybe not yet, but at some point in the future–how the situation in which you now find yourself contains lessons integral to your development.
When you focus your mind on the notion that your current circumstance will bring about benefits in the end, you realign your relationship to it. You move from resentment and anger into a zone that sees ahead of the problem–through the problem, to a time when the issue has resolved itself and you have learned whatever lesson you needed to.
Because the truth is, each situation that causes us to reassess our goals, refine our approach, or advocate for our needs is ultimately beneficial. If we decide, that is, to use it to our advantage by learning from it and bettering ourselves as a result of it.
You do not have to be Buddha or Ghandi. You may not arrive at a moment of peace and clarity as soon as disaster strikes. But you can immediately affirm your intention to ultimately make the situation one of worth by reminding yourself that, when you’re ready, when you have the benefit of perspective, you’ll revisit the details, in order to find the lesson.
Whether you have erred or someone has wronged you, say this:
I am learning.
I am growing.
I intend to use this situation for the betterment of all, when all is said and done.
And every time you start to dissect the details again in your head, and every time the flames of anger or self-hatred begin to flicker awake, take a deep breath and say it again.
For as long as you need until you arrive at the place where you’re able to see what you learned. See how the situation made you grow. See how you are better because of it.
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