Monday’s Meditation: On Paying Attention To Who You Are Becoming
Despite the fact that the prospect of traveling doesn’t completely thrill me, I nonetheless have a certain affinity for airports.
In an airport, I feel, you can be anyone you want. In an airport, more than other public places, I’m aware of the fact that no one knows me or my history. To them, I am some woman of mystery (you say irrelevant passing stranger, I say woman of mystery), and the possibility of sudden and infinite self-transformation feels mildly thrilling.
This is silly, of course (not my airport alter ego, that’s a very serious matter). Transforming oneself isn’t an activity limited to airports. Transforming oneself is possible anyplace, at any time, into anyone.
It would be unhealthy and a bit bonkers to suggest that you should change who you are on a whim, as if you were an undercover spy, apt to adopt any and all personas. What I’m talking about is constant reassessment of self as a means to move closer to our authentic, best versions of self.
So many hold true so many preconceived truths about themselves based on the past.
I am this way because of the way I was raised.
I (have historically) react(ed) to these types of situations in this way.
I’m bad at time management.
People are very, very good at reminding themselves of their stories, and of taking comfort in the familiarity of who they have known themselves to be.
But consider the fact that at every single instant the entire universe is reinventing and recreating itself. You are a different person on a cellular level than you were when you started reading this post. And once you become aware of that, you realize that at any moment, you can choose to be whomever you want.
What if you started asking yourself a Simple question:
But who do I want to be now?
I am this way because of my upbringing, but who do I want to be now?
I (have historically) react(ed) to these types of situations in this way, but what kind of person do I want to be now?
I’m bad at time management, but how do I want the person I am becoming to manage time?
There’s a caveat to all this transformation talk, though, which is that none of it is possible without significant doses of calm, quiet, and non-expression.
If you are spending your life rushing from point A to point B you do have the stillness needed to reflect on who you are becoming.
If you are never not looking at your phone, reading the news, retweeting hilarious comedians, posting on Instagram, or watching youtube videos (guilty), you are not cultivating the silence needed to ponder deeper thoughts.
If you don’t have a moment in your day where you can create a space for your thoughts (and don’t misunderstand, no matter your circumstances, creating this time is your responsibility), you are not engaging in the essential work of connecting with yourself, with your intuition, and with your imagination.
You are becoming at every moment. You are new right now.
Now you might decide to be brave.
Now you might decide to change your mind.
Now you might step out of who you have been, and into who you wish to be.
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