Our brains, conditioned by society and governed by ego, tell us yes and no all day long. Intuition exists on a higher plane of knowing, and communicates via feelings. Feelings of excitement, curiosity, and anxious anticipation are all intuitive yeses. Feelings of obligation, guilt, drudgery, doubt: those are all intuitive nos.

Intuition isn’t based on logic. It is instinctual recognition of alignment or the lack thereof with people, opportunities, and even ideas.

If only that felt like enough to base decisions on.

How often do we rationalize ourselves away from the truth of our intuition? Clients constantly engage in this while editing. They sigh heavily at the sight of something their intuition flashes “no” on. They drop their shoulders. They groan.

And then their rational minds go to work. “Think how much it cost,” it tells them. “Think who might be offended if you let it go,” it says. “What if you need it down the road?” it taunts.

Logic so often masquerades as wisdom.

There is no mistaking the feeling of a true, intuitive Yes. It’s immediate and effortless. We naturally feel a desire to claim whatever it is, wrap our arms around it, do a happy dance, and call our best friend to tell her the good news.

No is often harder to detect. It’s feeling unsettled. It’s a moment of hesitation, of knowingly acting on obligation, and ignoring red flags.

So, how can we get better at recognizing our subtle, intuitive No?

No is the absence of a Yes. That sounds like over-simplification, until you remember the unmistakable feeling of a yes—like a dart flying deftly through the air and landing bang in the bullseye. Natural. Exciting. Definite. Expansive.

No is when the dart lands anywhere else. When your hand falters as you throw. When you hem and haw and feel confusion, doubt, or indecision. When your fear-based ego interjects with countless rationalizations because you’re scared to trust your first, inexplicable instinct.

We must learn to hear through the mental noise and ask ourselves, “Is it a full-on yes, or am I afraid? Am I trusting my gut, or am I inventing reasons to doubt it?”