Monday’s Meditation: On Complaining
Those who are in the habit of complaining will never find themselves with a shortage of things to complain about. This is true as much because what such people are seeking most in life are things to complain about (and as we all know, what we’re looking for we’re bound to find) as it is because complaining does not inherently solve any problems. Complaining endures.
Yet identifying and calling attention to legitimate problems or roadblocks to success is healthy. It’s helpful. No progress can be made, after all, if critical problems are ignored rather than dealt with.
The misstep is not in bringing various issues to light, then, but in one’s motivation for doing so.
The chief goal of complainers is to complain. It is to take issue with a range of things for the sake of it. Complaining for such people is merely a vehicle for gaining the endless amount of sympathy from others they feel they need. They need— people around them to understand, again and again, how terribly difficult is to be them, how rough of a time they’re having.
Problem-solvers are also apt to articulate errors or areas of inefficiency. Yet the goal of problem-solvers is far beyond merely stating the obvious; it is to address problems with the intent to find solutions.
Complainers look away from themselves in order to vocalize their pain. They fail to see their own role in creating a situation what it is, and they shirk responsibility for improving it.
Problem-solvers look towards themselves and their environments in order to more deeply understand the dynamics at play. They observe all contributing factors, they brainstorm possibilities, and they pave the way for a resolution.
Complainers seek to find co-complainers; people who will agree how miserable life is, how unfair it is, and so on.
Problem-solvers seek to find co-creators of success; they attract like-minded individuals who are invested in creativity and collective happiness.
Between a complainer and an assertive problem-solver, be the latter.
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