October was my mom’s birthday month, and if there was one quality (aside from joy) that she possessed in spades, it was grace. 

She didn’t try, she just was. She didn’t force or manipulate, she allowed things to ebb and flow towards and away from her without ever seeming too troubled about their direction. And that includes lost entities such as mobility, independence, and then, finally, life.

Hers was a grace built on the calm confidence of someone who is secure in themselves and their values, and grounded in the present.

When we’re connected to our true selves and have a clear sense of what matters most to us, we remain rooted in the face of annoying distractions and catastrophes alike. We don’t easily get knocked off our axes or swept up in drama. We aren’t prone to self-chastising or comparison.

In a noisy world, our connection to ourselves helps us to remain composed, to assume the best of others, to be compassionate to ourselves, and to forgive when necessary.

Instead of trying so hard, chasing, and criticizing, what if we take a page from my mom’s book and try grace on for size?

What if we find out that it’s a far more effective strategy on all counts? That we feel better when we prioritize our peace and our authenticity.

What would it look like to give ourselves and those around us grace this month? What if we moved one notch away from the people we think we should be to stand more firmly in who we are, and then decided to lovingly accept that version of ourselves?

Wouldn’t that be freeing?