It strikes me how easy it is to become rooted to one emotional state. Often, we become angered or hurt by a certain person or situation and then we can’t find our way out of those feelings.

The statement “I am angry, but I am willing not to be” seems to me to be truly transformative. Declaring your emotional state is acknowledging what’s real. Okay, so you’re pissed. But whereas a Polyanna affirmation will most likely have a more negative effect than a positive one–after all, affirming, “I am so damn happy!” when you’re ready to throw a person out of the window of a seventh story walkup doesn’t feel authentic. It feels phony. And so rather than help you move forward, such a statement keeps you stuck in your anger.

But “I am willing not to be?” That’s different. That’s saying that although you may not be able to see the way out just yet, although you may be unsure of how it might possibly come to pass, you open yourself to the possibility that it will. And that is truly the first step of giving up whatever negative shit is weighing you down.

I am angry, but I am willing not to be.

I am hurt, but I am willing not to be.

I am lost, but I am willing not to be.

I am resentful, but I am willing not to be.

I am struggling, but I am willing not to be.

I am stuck in a place of self-pity, but I am willing not to be.

I am distrustful, but I am willing not to be.

I am disorganized, but I am willing not to be.

And on and on.

Whatever the emotional state is for you, let it be something you are willing to change. That willingness will make all the difference in the world.