It’s tempting to blame others for unfortunate circumstances in life.

There is no shortage in this world of bad bosses, unkind teachers, or deceitful coworkers, nor chaos, stresses of all kind, or grief. There are people in the world whose bad outshines their good, and there are situations that are so trying they just seem unfair.

But by blaming others or outside forces for the current state of our lives, we also pass off our power to those people or events. We pretend as though we have had no say, and in so doing we cast ourselves as the victim.

Victimhood is not an empowered state, which is what we undeniably need to be in if we are to improve the situation.

Victims are powerless. They are people to whom things happen. Going through life feeling as though it is happening to you rather than you to it may be the definition of an unfulfilled existence.

Others might have wronged you. You might have been at the whim of difficult forces entirely outside your realm of control. It might not be your “fault” that your life has ended up where it has. You are not expected to deny any negative circumstances you have had to endure, but to transcend them. You are responsible for the extent to which you hold onto them, and the power to which you entitle them now.

The longer you dwell on negative circumstances, the more you chalk your life up to the horrible people with whom you have come in contact, the longer it will be before you can move your own life forward.

The universe is perpetually responding to the cues you are emitting now, and if your internal state remains one of victimization, you will inevitably find yourself in the victim role.

No matter what has happened in the past, no matter what the circumstances in which you now find ourself, you are capable of taking full responsibility for your actions and for your life from now on.

You can either sit back and listen to the music being played or you can stand center stage, the conductor of your own brilliant symphony. But you can’t have it both ways.