Monday’s Meditation: On Having It All Together…Whether You Do Or Not

August 22, 2016

each of us has the power to be a spark for positive change in another's life. Remember this.

I’m part of a very informal group of lady bosses here in Seattle. Though most every one of us works in different industries, we connect on the shared ground of having borne an idea, and of nurturing this idea into a full-fledged company, and all the daily effort that entails.

Last week we gathered around a patio table to enjoy the sunshine and talk shop, as it were. And somewhere in there, the subject of feeling inadequacy or shame at one’s behind the scenes situation came up.

“Don’t you see all these people on Instagram or whatever who seem to have it all together?” Someone asked. “They have the thriving business, and the happy marriage, and the cute kids, and you’re just in awe of them? And then feel like, in contrast, your life is such a mess??”

Oh yeah, totally.

Uh-huh.

Of course.

Constantly.

Came the replies.

Some of us countered, reminding the group that we’re only seeing the images that are being purposefully shared, and not usually the challenging details of what running a business really looks like–though those details and situations inevitably exist.

“You’re forgetting about the team of people that person employs who make possible everything you’re seeing.”

“And plus, social media content is meant to be appealing, inspiring, and inviting. That’s why we’re sitting at this table together, because when you ask for support or you bare your soul, you want that information to be received by specific people that you can trust, and whose advice you know is sound.”

We all agreed, the hang-up resolving itself almost immediately after it had begun.

“But still, I feel like there’s always one or two people who you just feel in awe of, who you imagine must have their shit really together,” one said.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” said the lady boss next to her.

The first looked at the second. “You’re that person for me.”

“Ha, okay.”

“No, really. I’m telling you: you’re the person I look at and think has it all together.”

Her comment, or compliment, was lovingly dismissed. “I definitely don’t, but thanks.”

A week later, I’m left thinking about the conversation. Not about the tendency to prettify life on social media, or about the relationship between outer depiction and inner feelings of inadequacy, but about the definitive way in which one lady boss had identified our fellow group member as being her impressive person.

It was a fact–for her. Her feelings didn’t need to be corroborated, because what she sees in our friend is mastery.

Each of us looks to someone in such a regard. Each of us has a person or a couple of people that we admire, that we follow with awe and respect, that we feel inspired by.

And since this is true for all of us, that means that you are that impressive person to someone.

There is at least one person out there who sees your work, who takes an interest in how you live, who respects your life choices, who follows your social media posts, and who is in awe of you.

You are someone’s favorite account to follow.

You are someone’s biggest source of inspiration and motivation.

You–little old you–with your acne scars and your ugly feet and your fear of numbers and your ratty bathrobe, you are a living example of what could be to someone on this planet at this moment.

This very morning, you helped someone to push back the covers, touch their toes to the ground, and set about figuring out what being alive means for them today.

You did that.

You are that.

You are that whether you have a massive platform or seemingly none at all. You are that whether you have a career outside of the home or you devote yourself to your family’s wellbeing. You are that whether you have a snapchat or a have ever made a Youtube video. You most definitely are that because you are here. Because you are uniquely gifted and challenged, and because you are inherently brave in areas where others are not.

But here’s the thing: you may never have solid verification of all of this. That person, the one to whom you are magnificent, that person may never come out of the woodwork to tell you just what you’ve meant or mean to them. Likely, it doesn’t occur to them how powerful it might be for you to hear those words from them.

But really, you don’t need them anyway. Because you are just doing the business of being you, and acknowledging the fact that by sheer virtue of being alive and living your life, you are a spark for someone else.

As for whether you must give today your all–you better. Someone out there is counting on you.

3 Comments

  1. Ellen on August 22, 2016 at 5:10 am

    Yours is my favorite and I’m in awe of you! Thanks for doing what you do.

    • Annie on August 22, 2016 at 3:52 pm

      What a powerfully kind thing to say!! Thanks Ellen girl!

  2. Bev on August 26, 2016 at 8:30 am

    I definitley do not have it all together. But this week someone said something to me that made me realize that *she* thinks I have it all together. That’s kind of empowering and it left me with a smile.

    I love how these Monday messages make me thinkabout things.

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3 Comments

  1. Ellen on August 22, 2016 at 5:10 am

    Yours is my favorite and I’m in awe of you! Thanks for doing what you do.

    • Annie on August 22, 2016 at 3:52 pm

      What a powerfully kind thing to say!! Thanks Ellen girl!

  2. Bev on August 26, 2016 at 8:30 am

    I definitley do not have it all together. But this week someone said something to me that made me realize that *she* thinks I have it all together. That’s kind of empowering and it left me with a smile.

    I love how these Monday messages make me thinkabout things.

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