The Household Tool I Wish I’d Bought Sooner

September 23, 2014

This is a story.

Over the past many months I have had the chance to test out every version of Miele vacuum that’s on the market. Every one might be a slight exaggeration, but truly, at least 5-7 varieties, which in vacuum terms is a lot.

I had long since broken up with shit vacuum # 1, and had broken up too, with what turned out to be shit vacuum # 2, after it failed to meet my disgustingly low expectations. Thereafter I somehow managed to endure a kind of a vacuum dry spell, wherein the dust momentarily collected in the corners and I gritted my teeth and pondered my and my floor’s destiny.

It might have gone on that way if I had not made myself aware of the strangely uncanny phenomenon sweeping my clients’ homes. They all own Miele vacuums. All of them (okay, the vast majority). I couldn’t open a utility closet without finding myself face to face with the letters M-I-E-L-E. Don’t believe me? Take a gander at this offering (all of which are in various stages of transition, so we’ll move beyond that):

The household tool I wish I'd bought sooner!

The household tool I wish I'd bought sooner!

The household tool I wish I'd bought sooner!

(Also a bang-boom, recently completed project that one might peruse on my gallery page if one so wished.)

The household tool I wish I'd bought sooner!

What was this Miele business and how had my sister and I discounted it so vigorously all those years we spent pining for a Dyson?

I started investigating. I had already trialled them all– the Miele Olympus, the Miele Capri, the  Miele Onyx, the Miele Delphi, the Miele Kona, and even the Miele UniQ, but reading reviews filled me with newfound appreciation.

And then I started flirting. You know, just playing around with the idea of getting myself one. Which one would I get if I was to get one? The Onyx, and Delphi–both within the $450-$500 range seemed to me to be pretty much the same: remarkably quiet and stellar suction (Ha! Aren’t you having fun reading this?). And the Capri seemed to be just as great, though not quite as silent.

The Kona and UniQ were as mind-blowing as you would hope and expect from a $1000 vacuum, but I reasoned I had no justification for such an instrument, given that I just have a little two-story house, and I’m just a little Annie. The Olympus, maybe the most affordable option of the fleet at $329 doesn’t have the power head attachment that the Capri buys you (worth it!).

Something told me that the Capri would be the most responsible option. I mean, I’m harboring no sleeping babes, and so I rationalized that for $100 less, I could deal with a tiny amount of noise.

The household tool I wish I'd bought sooner!

There’s a moment in life for all of us when we realize that we can continue the cycle of pacifying our needs with inferior versions that will inevitably disappoint us, or we can grow a pair of boobs, admit to ourselves we’re sick of the cycle, and instead fix our efforts on attaining the ideal version we actually want and need, that will in the end most certainly equal the heartache and hassle of the four or five or more attempts at replicating it and then some (we are still talking about vacuum cleaners, to be clear. I am.)

Pretty soon, my boob-growing-vacuum-cleaner day dawned.

I logged onto The Amazon. I typed in the words “Miele S2121 Capri Canister Vacuum Cleaner” I clicked add to cart. I checked that dang cart out and you know what happened after that?

Not a week later a big old box showed up on my front porch and I was seriously like a kid on christmas morning. People use that comparison a lot, but I promise, it has never been more apt than here and now.

The household tool I wish I'd bought sooner!

Only selfie I’ve taken in like, ever. Saying something.

Three or four months later, and the thing I regret most is that I waited as long as I did to buy the thing.

My point here is not that you should buy the vacuum I did (although you like totally should because it’s the best vacuum cleaner ever and makes me feel happy literally every time I use it because it does what it’s meant to so freaking well, is gloriously lightweight, has all the attachments I need, and has a built-in cord rewind function–HELLO!), but to encourage you to woman up and procure for yourself the things you feel you really need to be your best self.

Sometimes, things are important, after all.

Image credit: Photo of model Annika Dop

5 Comments

  1. Robin on September 23, 2014 at 6:01 am

    I’ve had my Miele vacuum for 14.5 years and even used it during a home-remodeling-heavy-dirt(not dust) phase, and its still going strong. I too was an annual vacuum cleaner purchaser pre-Miele. The one thing that surprised us when we first started using the Miele – and ultimately proves how much more effective a vacuum it is over anything we had owned, is how much quicker the vacuum bags become full … as the merchant I purchased from says, that literally shows me how much stuff had remained in the carpet with the other brands I had used. We believe so strongly in Miele products that we now also have a Miele dishwasher, oven, and range hood 🙂

    And I’m all for the notion of being one’s best self … would be interesting to see all the different items that could be on those lists, how indispensable something may be for one person and not so much for others.

    • Annie on September 30, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      So happy to hear your Miele is going so strong after all these years! And yes, I agree, would be very interesting… my wheels are turning. 😉

  2. AK on September 23, 2014 at 11:22 am

    I never knew that vacuuming was a gender based activity. Hopefully you weren’t advocating it being done in leopard skin capri pants and stiletto heels.

  3. Azure on September 24, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    That picture is hilarious! It needs some sort of ironic caption though.

  4. […] Miele will always have my heart, but when it comes to cord-free vacuums, this Dyson is the clear […]

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5 Comments

  1. Robin on September 23, 2014 at 6:01 am

    I’ve had my Miele vacuum for 14.5 years and even used it during a home-remodeling-heavy-dirt(not dust) phase, and its still going strong. I too was an annual vacuum cleaner purchaser pre-Miele. The one thing that surprised us when we first started using the Miele – and ultimately proves how much more effective a vacuum it is over anything we had owned, is how much quicker the vacuum bags become full … as the merchant I purchased from says, that literally shows me how much stuff had remained in the carpet with the other brands I had used. We believe so strongly in Miele products that we now also have a Miele dishwasher, oven, and range hood 🙂

    And I’m all for the notion of being one’s best self … would be interesting to see all the different items that could be on those lists, how indispensable something may be for one person and not so much for others.

    • Annie on September 30, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      So happy to hear your Miele is going so strong after all these years! And yes, I agree, would be very interesting… my wheels are turning. 😉

  2. AK on September 23, 2014 at 11:22 am

    I never knew that vacuuming was a gender based activity. Hopefully you weren’t advocating it being done in leopard skin capri pants and stiletto heels.

  3. Azure on September 24, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    That picture is hilarious! It needs some sort of ironic caption though.

  4. […] Miele will always have my heart, but when it comes to cord-free vacuums, this Dyson is the clear […]

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