Decluttering Making You Feel Wasteful? You’re Not The Only One…

July 19, 2016

Feeling wasteful in the face of clutter is one of the most common reasons why people hold on to it. Here, how that mindset keeps you stuck, how to make peace with the fact that you may have been a tad reckless with your resources in the past, and how to ensure you don’t repeat those mistakes in the future. 

Does decluttering make you feel wasteful? Here's why and how to avoid those bad feelings so you can get on with your life and your letting go of things you don't need.

No one, and I mean no one, likes the feeling of being wasteful. It doesn’t matter how concerned a person is for the environment (though people who are environmentally-minded arguably detest being wasteful to an extreme amount), or what a person’s socioeconomic status is. I’ve worked with some of the most powerful people, people for whom money might as well grow on trees, and I can tell you they feel just as lousy about wasting goods and resources as the man scrounging to make ends meets.

Old and young, married and single, male and female, we share a collective aversion to wastefulness.

The primary reason why acknowledging one’s wastefulness stings as much as it does is its relationship to shame. Oh, shame. If you have plenty and are wasteful, you feel ashamed at having squandered your good fortune. If you have little means and are wasteful, you feel ashamed at having squandered your good luck.

See, there’s a part of each of us that is good, and that goodness knows abundance, prosperity and access when it sees it. And, it recognizes carelessness in the face of those things. It knows everything might be put to use if prioritized properly; if given into the right hands. And, it feels wretched acknowledging that it has been a negligent and irresponsible steward of those riches.

So, it avoids having to fess up to being wasteful.

It prefers letting never-worn clothing remain in the closet with the price tags attached for eternity.

It pretends it is obligated to hold onto perfectly good supplies, even if one doesn’t need all or any of those supplies.

It watches the produce spoil a little bit more with each passing day.

It judges the desire to buy new things. It judges the part of you that, even for a second, considers letting something go without trying to sell it.

Better that than having to admit to wasting the resources one had available to them, right?

To tread the editing path (i.e. owning one’s mistakes of the past, forgiving yourself for them, and pledging to make better decisions now) will undoubtedly entail having to face our wastefulness, and then, of course, having to suffer the shame that comes as result of that realization.

Does decluttering make you feel wasteful? Here's why and how to avoid those bad feelings so you can get on with your life and your letting go of things you don't need.

Guess what? Sometimes, we’re wasteful.

Occasionally, we make poor decisions while shopping in the mall or the grocery store.

From time to time, we let the impulsive side of our brain tell us something is a good idea that only later we realize was a complete waste of time and money.

Shit happens. Which is another way of saying: we make mistakes. They are a part of life. A part of us.

None of this means you are bad. None of this means you ought to be punished for your sins. That you don’t deserve any more nice things or fresh produce.

In fact, the very shame you feel at having been wasteful reveals your goodness, not your vileness!

If you were really wasteful, you would continue, week after week, to stockpile your grocery cart with produce you know you won’t eat.

If you were really wasteful, you would continue to max out your credit card shopping for things you know you don’t want or need.

If you were really wasteful, you would feel absolutely zero remorse at throwing out what someone else might have cherished.

But you aren’t doing that, are you?

You are merely going along on your way: making a whole heck of a lot of good decisions, and a couple of stupid ones here and there, too.

What you deserve is the chance to live freely and without shame, so that you can exist in a realm of clarity and priority. Only from that space can you help to ensure you never again waste.

Does decluttering make you feel wasteful? Here's why and how to avoid those bad feelings so you can get on with your life and your letting go of things you don't need.

Go. To the fridge or the closet or the storage room. Take out the things that make you feel lowly. That make you want to hang your head at your own spoiled, selfish, overly-busied ways.

Then say:

I see you wastefulness.

I am sorry, universe.

I apologize to myself or to my family or to both.

I feel shame at having carelessly managed the riches that once were mine.

I feel sadness at having prevented someone who might have benefited from this all this time do so, Simply because I was too scared to fess up to my mistakes of the past.

In spite of this (or these few) piece(s) of evidence to the contrary, I choose to live with gratitude. I am ready to be a person who consumes consciously, who lives with grace, and who respects the bounties available to me. 

I know that I am good.

I forgive myself for the mistakes I made in the past.

Instead of judging them, I study them: what can I learn from them? What patterns emerge from out of them? And how can this help me to avoid being wasteful in the future?

K, I’m gonna let you go now, thing. Bad feeling.

Here I go.  

 

Image credits: Wildfox via, Photography by Julia Robbs for Refinery 29, Baileys in Cereal Magazine

 

17 Comments

  1. Alison on July 19, 2016 at 8:27 am

    I struggle with this so much. Going home tonight and getting rid of those Final Sale Tags On Terrible Pants that have been making me feel bad for months. Thanks so much for your posts, Annie. I love reading them and can’t believe how often I find myself wondering how you got into my head.

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:20 pm

      DO IT.

      Did you do it??

      So glad to have given you the encouragement when it was needed. Thanks for the comment lady. xx

  2. Melissa Guillory on July 19, 2016 at 9:32 am

    Love following your blog! Great writing, Annie!

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      Thanks for reading Melissa! Such a sweet, encouraging note!

  3. Carol on July 19, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Wonderful inspiration. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insights. Helping me a lot.

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      SO happy to read this. Thank you for reading my dear!!

  4. Lys on July 19, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Thank you. I so needed to hear this today. How do you always know to write exactly what I’m needing? Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    • Shannon on July 19, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      same here!

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:23 pm

      I feel like so many people say this to me and I truthfully don’t know how or why that is, but I always feel like it’s the best bit of luck for everyone involved!

      Thanks for the comment Lys! xx

  5. Leanne on July 19, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    Today’s post and yesterday’s Meditation are both excellent! I am motivated to give away things I am not using by the thought that donating them to someone else, who will use them, is my way of making amends for having made the mistake of buying them in the first place. When my mother died, I found 21 (yes, I counted them) bras in her closet, in bags and still with price tags on them. I took them to a homeless shelter, where they were very grateful to have them. I felt like I was giving my mom’s spirit a little boost, as well as my own. As always, thank you Annie!

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:25 pm

      UCH, SUCH a great comment, Leanne.

      Hilarious that you counted the bras (love that move and that you included that detail here).

      But truly, so beautiful that you transferred what was stagnant energy into life-giving energy, once again! Go Leanne, go!

  6. Sue on July 20, 2016 at 9:52 pm

    Annie, those are inspiring words – ‘transferring stagnant energy into life-giving energy’. As always your ideas are excellent.
    Thank you
    Sue

  7. Dana on September 16, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Annie, you really are a phenomenal motivator. I love your writing style and I love you. XXXOOO
    Dana

    • Annie on September 20, 2016 at 6:48 pm

      AHH, what an amazingly kind note, Dana!! Thank you!! xxx

  8. […] 5. Decluttering Making You Feel Wasteful? You’re Not The Only One… […]

  9. Rani on January 11, 2018 at 3:08 am

    Hi annie,

    Thanks for making me feel that i am not alone in this struggle today. I feel so wasteful this past few days because of a transaction i need to make. I wasted $150 within 2 days. A part of myself keeps telling me that i couldve avoided wasting that money. It’s true. I made a mistake. I know this feeling is gonna stay for a while. Im giving it a space to let it be.

    Thanks again.

    • Annie on January 21, 2018 at 8:37 pm

      You are so not alone. We all make mistakes—CONSTANTLY. But it never pays to beat ourselves up. Take what lesson you can learn and pledge to make better, more informed decisions in the future. Then forgive yourself and move on!

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17 Comments

  1. Alison on July 19, 2016 at 8:27 am

    I struggle with this so much. Going home tonight and getting rid of those Final Sale Tags On Terrible Pants that have been making me feel bad for months. Thanks so much for your posts, Annie. I love reading them and can’t believe how often I find myself wondering how you got into my head.

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:20 pm

      DO IT.

      Did you do it??

      So glad to have given you the encouragement when it was needed. Thanks for the comment lady. xx

  2. Melissa Guillory on July 19, 2016 at 9:32 am

    Love following your blog! Great writing, Annie!

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      Thanks for reading Melissa! Such a sweet, encouraging note!

  3. Carol on July 19, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Wonderful inspiration. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insights. Helping me a lot.

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      SO happy to read this. Thank you for reading my dear!!

  4. Lys on July 19, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Thank you. I so needed to hear this today. How do you always know to write exactly what I’m needing? Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    • Shannon on July 19, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      same here!

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:23 pm

      I feel like so many people say this to me and I truthfully don’t know how or why that is, but I always feel like it’s the best bit of luck for everyone involved!

      Thanks for the comment Lys! xx

  5. Leanne on July 19, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    Today’s post and yesterday’s Meditation are both excellent! I am motivated to give away things I am not using by the thought that donating them to someone else, who will use them, is my way of making amends for having made the mistake of buying them in the first place. When my mother died, I found 21 (yes, I counted them) bras in her closet, in bags and still with price tags on them. I took them to a homeless shelter, where they were very grateful to have them. I felt like I was giving my mom’s spirit a little boost, as well as my own. As always, thank you Annie!

    • Annie on July 19, 2016 at 10:25 pm

      UCH, SUCH a great comment, Leanne.

      Hilarious that you counted the bras (love that move and that you included that detail here).

      But truly, so beautiful that you transferred what was stagnant energy into life-giving energy, once again! Go Leanne, go!

  6. Sue on July 20, 2016 at 9:52 pm

    Annie, those are inspiring words – ‘transferring stagnant energy into life-giving energy’. As always your ideas are excellent.
    Thank you
    Sue

  7. Dana on September 16, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Annie, you really are a phenomenal motivator. I love your writing style and I love you. XXXOOO
    Dana

    • Annie on September 20, 2016 at 6:48 pm

      AHH, what an amazingly kind note, Dana!! Thank you!! xxx

  8. […] 5. Decluttering Making You Feel Wasteful? You’re Not The Only One… […]

  9. Rani on January 11, 2018 at 3:08 am

    Hi annie,

    Thanks for making me feel that i am not alone in this struggle today. I feel so wasteful this past few days because of a transaction i need to make. I wasted $150 within 2 days. A part of myself keeps telling me that i couldve avoided wasting that money. It’s true. I made a mistake. I know this feeling is gonna stay for a while. Im giving it a space to let it be.

    Thanks again.

    • Annie on January 21, 2018 at 8:37 pm

      You are so not alone. We all make mistakes—CONSTANTLY. But it never pays to beat ourselves up. Take what lesson you can learn and pledge to make better, more informed decisions in the future. Then forgive yourself and move on!

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