Most of us are far bigger bullies to ourselves than we realize.

In fact, I’ll bet if there was a way to record and play back internal dialogue, most of us would be shocked and appalled to discover our own likeness to Miss Trunchbull. Maybe not all the time, or regarding all matters, but trust me: each one of us has a few areas which we’re in the habit of mentally pummeling ourselves over.

We know logically this kind of demeaning talk-thought isn’t constructive; we would never rely upon it as an effective style of communication with anyone else, heavens no. And yet, unaware and on autopilot, we mistakenly and continually regress to employing it with our own selves.

The logical prescription–start thinking kinder, more loving thoughts–is well and good. It’s also really fricking hard to do.

I recently read an interesting alternative solution from Dr. Habib Sadeghi called “self-parenting.” The technique involves becoming aware of self-talk rants and then interrupting them with supportive dialogue directed at your childlike, innocent spirit.

Stay with me here.

It makes sense when you think about it. The part of ourselves that errs, disappoints, leads us astray, practices a lack of restraint is surely not the most elevated, mature, self-actualized part. It makes much more sense, in fact, to consider it the most childlike aspect of ourselves.

That part of us that can’t resist but to buy seven more tubes of lipstick. Or the one that can’t seem to wrangle in its tongue long enough to avoid gossiping about friends, or the one who continues to eat long after the point of being full–that part is not some sophisticated adult. It’s like a small child.

And here’s where the magic happens.

How would you speak to a child? If you’re a normal, healthy, loving person you would be patient, calm, and collected. You would realize that the child is merely in the process of learning right from wrong, learning from feels good from what doesn’t.

You certainly wouldn’t speak to that child with the kind of demonstrative, overly rigid and unrealistic tone you normally reserve for yourself.

The next time you feel less than stellar about yourself, try speaking not to you, but to the child inside of you.

Because in the words of Sadeghi, “Every cell of your body is listening.”