Monday’s Meditation: On The Easiest Way To Help Someone Be Effective

May 21, 2018

Everyone is moving right now, which is why there was unexpected radio silence on the blog last week.

Among those trading one residence for another is a client-turned-friend who is a mother to five human children and one dog child, and who is currently pregnant with human child number six.

She and I spent most of Saturday doing a thorough edit of her house pre-move, and I spent the six plus hours in awe.

There she was, pregnant-out-to-here, laser-focused, fearlessly digging in to space after space, ruthlessly editing out the unnecessary, moving with both a speed and determination I can’t say I’ve ever seen matched, never even pausing for food or phone. Upon reflection, I don’t even think she stopped once to pee.

We were approaching the six hour mark and she showed no signs of slowing down.

“YOU ARE A MACHINE!” I bellowed. “You don’t need me here at all!”

“It’s the moral support that’s everything,” she said, heaving a stack of books in my direction. “These can all go.”

I pulled away from her house, my entire car filled with things to be donated, thinking about moral support.

“What does that even really mean?” I thought to myself. “Moral. Morale support would sort of make more sense. Moral. Like a lesson?”

By the time I pulled into my own driveway, I had no recollection of having driven home, but I did remember the definition of moral, so all hope wasn’t lost for me.

Moral, as in right. As in right behavior. As in choosing right behavior over wrong behavior. As in even though most of us are essentially good people, we still need other people around us to help ensure we are moral; act morally.

We enlist and require supervision and companionship in order to do what is right and what is needed.

In other (regrettably trite) words, we actually do bring out the best in each other. Connected, our presence in each other’s lives is what makes the difference between being our best selves and being passably decent versions.

We all can do hard things. We can make ourselves get up in the morning, move our bodies, eat well, edit our homes and our lives, create clarity out of chaos–Live Simply. And while it is difficult but not impossible to do these things alone, it is so, so much easier to rise when we have another to stand beside us as we do.

Want to know one of the most effective, kindest things you might do for someone? Sit in a room with them while they do whatever it is they need to. Don’t babble on about your carpool drama, or interrupt their process, and don’t you DARE tell them they can’t get rid of something they’re considering getting rid of (I WON’T NOT HIT YOU). Just sit there. And every so often, tell them they’re doing great, and you see them making progress, and you’re in awe of them.

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  1. […] figures, then, that she’s been on my mind; enough to substantiate her being the subject of last week’s Meditation and this […]

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  1. […] figures, then, that she’s been on my mind; enough to substantiate her being the subject of last week’s Meditation and this […]

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