Monday, August 3, 2015

All of life is a practice to be our best selves, for ourselves and for the rest of the world.

As healthy people, we want to feel good now

And in order to do that, we want to communicate sentiments, resolve mistakes, repair what has broken, and vent our frustrations as quickly as we can.

This inclination is a sign of maturity; holding grudges, not owning up to our shortcomings, or not communicating our feelings in a timely fashion are many things, but they certainly aren’t happiness-building, relationship-sustaining, success-producing measures.

Just as we need to be future-leaning in our perceptions of challenging situations by reminding ourselves of their purpose, we also need to ensure that our actions are not merely desperate attempts in the moment to re-establish a status quo, but are designed with the future in mind.

If we’re so focused on the situation at hand that we fail to see how it connects to dynamics of the past or how it will influence situations of the future, then any reconciliation, arrangements or practices made in this limited mindset will be equally bound in time and space. 

The key, then, is to both take positive action to bring about alignment, happiness, and understanding right now, and understand how right now is one link on a longer chain.

We need not only to be communicating in such a way that we feel heard in the moment or we ensure any arguments that may have arisen are resolved. We need to be asking ourselves, “Am I communicating this in a way that will enable lasting change?”

Or: “How can I make not only this one client happy, but institute policies that will ensure all future clients receive the best possible services?”

Or: “I feel like I keep finding myself in the same situation and I’m tired of it. What change can I institute for myself now so that going forward I don’t have to keep repeating this scenario?”

What we do now does affect what will happen tomorrow, or at some point in the future.

Whether we perceive situations now as being singular events or situational constructs affects our preparedness to deal with them swiftly and correctly later on.

At the very least, we should take a moment afterwards by ourselves–after the argument has been resolved or the stress has been abated or the deadline has been met–to review how we handled ourselves, to see where or how we might have done better, to notice where we started to veer off track, and to decide, now, how we think it best to handle similar situations in the future.

Maybe that means you won’t discuss certain topics with that one friend.

Maybe it means you’ll be more attentive to your partner’s needs.

Maybe it means you won’t take on that type of client.

Maybe it means you’ll establish a protocol, design a template, implement a date night.

Whatever it is for you, the good news and the bad news is this: you are expected to be your best self right now and later on, too. You’re never off the hook for treating yourself, your loved ones, and your customers with care and excellence. 

Start now. When you do, you might notice something counter to this entire post happens: even beyond finding yourself in similar situations and being better equipped to handle them, you might begin to notice those situations disappear entirely.

Lessons, when learned, don’t need to keep repeating themselves. 

 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Today’s designer spotlight is another Insta-find, because I, like everyone else with a screen, am hooked. 

Here’s what I can tell you about Nicole Davis: she’s a designer. Her work is exceptionally lovely. And, other than that, her feed is responsible for my thumb getting plenty o’ exercise as of late.

She used to share a firm with another design, but now they’re separate entities and also collaborate. I’m not clear on the specifics, especially since N. Davis’s website had yet to launch at press time. I know this because I’ve been checking in every so often (every few days) anxiously awaiting access to her portfolio. Turns out, Nicole, I’m second in line after you on the excited for site-launch list. 

I also promise I’m very busy and have not enough minutes to clip my damn cuticles, so, well, I don’t even know where I was headed with that.

Point being! Do yourself a solid and scope the images jacked from Nicole’s feed by yours truly.

Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors Dreamy design from Nicole Davis Interiors

And now you should really do what’s only courteous for you and for her, and go follow that lady. 

Or don’t! But definitely be a great person because that’s not optional k thanks for reading in the height of summer byeeeeee.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Really wanting to love your rental but stuck on how to make it feel like home, without alienating your landlord and being cast out on the streets? Don’t worry my little peach, I got you. Follow these six tips to Happy Town.  

1. Hang stuff

 

6 tips for making your rental feel more like your own (#3 especially!).

The fastest, most impactful way to inject your personality into your rental is to hang art and shelves for display or storage.

Most people don’t realize how easy it is to hang a little shelf and so they never do. But often times a shelf here and there can be the difference between sterile and personal, between over- cramped and (semi) spacious.

6 tips for making your rental feel more like your own (#3 especially!). 6 tips for making your rental feel more like your own (#3 especially!).

 

2. Hang curtains

Curtains are another decorative element that most people neglect in a rental because they assume they’re too much of a commitment, too invasive an installation.

To the contrary: once you have your curtains picked out, you can have those suckers up in under twenty minutes (that’s being generous) and down even faster.

 

3. Take every small opportunity for upgrade

6 tips for making your rental feel more like your own (#3 especially!).

There are lots of ways to temporarily suit your rental space to your needs and aesthetics, though most people overlook them. The key is to consider all the implements you can install and then take with you when you go. A few suggestions:

-Kitchen hardware. Especially if they’re just knobs, kitchen hardware can be easily removed and swapped out for ones that bring you the happy. Keep the original hardware in a ziploc and definitely don’t lose that bag.

– Shower head. Don’t just take the dopey shower head your rental comes with as the bee all and end all. Do you know that there are things like the ‘Zon? Like Bed, Beth & Beyond, simply stocked with shower head after shower head, all with various settings and pressure?

Choose one you love over what’s been provided and reap the benefits of a better shower experience every day for the duration of your lease. Or, you know, however often you shower, gross.

 

4. Unscrew those hinges

The flip side of number 3 is to temporarily take away whatever elements of your rental aren’t gelling with you. Like what?

6 tips for making your rental feel more like your own (#3 especially!).

– Cupboard doors. Turn those cupboards into open shelving if that’ll make the storage space more accessible (hint: it often will). 

– Any other doors or barriers that you deem obstructive. Probably you shouldn’t deem the front door as that. 

– Gross blinds, if there are any, and you think they’re gross, and would rather hang your own or just hang curtains or just have naked windows.

 

5. B.Y.O. Lamp.

I, for one, am extremely sensitive to lighting. If the lights are hospital-like, I won’t turn them on. If that precludes my using a given area past daylight hours–no chance you’ll find me chilling there. And while replacing lighting and even light fixtures intimidates a hell of a lot of renters (for good reason), there’s no soul who should be wary of shopping the lamp department.

Get the floor lamps, the table lamps, the nightlights going. Position them precisely where you wish. Select the wattage and type of bulb, and then forget the rental’s lighting even exists, if it’s that bad. 

 

6. Wallpaper the place

6 tips for making your rental feel more like your own (#3 especially!).

This is one item that I’m including purely because I know it’s a thing, but not because I have any personal experience with it. If you do, please. 

They make now such a thing as removable wallpaper that are meant for rentals or habitual non-committers. So, maybe look into that.

 

K, hope this helps and happy leasing! 

 

Image credits: Edyta, A Cup Of MaiInto The Gloss, Dagmar Daley via Remoldista,  Kirsten Coplans via Apartment Therapy, Betapet