Want to Live Simply but don’t know where to start? Or, maybe you’re well along in the process, and are zealously seeking new and exciting ways to further free yourself from the burden of unnecessary belongings. In either case, this latest installment in our (always popular) ongoing ditch-it list is ripe with editing motivation (I hope).
Beginning today, you are no longer allowed to feel bad (purposeful grammatical choice, there), or sad, or even wistful about getting rid of the following:
1. Sets of stationary you’ve purchased over the years at museum gift shops (I see you with those Monet Water Lilly’s notecards and matching envelopes), small boutiques, and Papyrus shops that you’ve never sent.
2. Greeting cards you purchased two decades ago that now, in hindsight, you realize are fugly and you’d dare not send them to a person you like, let alone one you don’t.
3. Rolls of bubble wrap, speciality mailing envelopes en masse, et al.
Unless you’re running a shop that necessitates you to constantly ship/mail things to customers (you would know if you are). Or, unless you’re running a FedEx office from out your dutch door, collecting naked items in need of packaging from your neighbors and strangers. (Again, you would know if you are. You might not know that you needed counseling, but that’s a revelatory list-post we’ll save for another day.)
(Hands up if we’d like a “list of things that indicate you’re not in possession of a sound mind,” (in my humble opinion.))
4. Mystery keys.
5. Mystery bags of hardware.
6. Mysterious parts, bits, knobs, levers, controllers, I could go on–
7. Assembly instructions for furniture pieces you’ll never in your life un-assemble and then re-assemble (read: essentially everything, perhaps with the exception of a crib and changing table.)
8. The first item your significant other gave you.
Divorced? Going strong? Doesn’t matter. What is that person giving you today? What might they give you tomorrow?
(Hands up if we need a helper script on how to navigate this scenario with grace towards all.)
9. Cartoon-emblazoned, logo-announcing plastic cups that were hand-outs at sporting events / fast food drive throughs and the like, that somehow managed to weasel their way into your more legitimate drinkware collection.
10. Branded drinking vessels: wine glasses etched with the name of a winery you once visited, glasses plastered with the names of various beer companies, etc.
11. Chipped glasses. Chipped plates. Chipped bowls.
This isn’t sculpture work. You aren’t carving until you set an angel free–that I know of, anyway. You’re just holding on to increasingly dangerous objects that one day a family member may slice open some part of their body on, be it a hand or a lip.
12. The collection of baby cups, bowls, snack carriers, and eating utensils your “baby” has long since outgrown.
13. Your child’s toy that endlessly plays an insipid tune, robotically chants the same refrain, that lights up and walks across the room and that always manages to end up under foot, so that you’re forever tripping over it and stubbing your toe on and then whisper-yelling FUCK, not because it hurt so much as you know you’ve just set it off on its tirade.
If it’s making you loose your mind, and thus making you a worse parent, get rid of it.
Hopefully, any of these particular items don’t pertain to you, they’ll help jog your memory of other similar items you own that you’re free to let go of.
If any of these items rang a bell for you, I want to hear about it! Which items on the list apply to you, and, more importantly, what are you going to do about that?